Saturday, 22 October 2016

Appreciation Post

The problem with over sensitive person is having a lot of emotions. Placing emotions on everything just make you feel attach to each one of it although it isn't significant while you think it is. In short, I do feel anxious when I can't be honest with my feeling, be it friends or family. If I think I need to speak my mind but then I don't, it will bother me the whole day. Overthinking does kill you, internally. Because of past events, I decided to always speak my mind if its a good thing, in fact if it is regarding what I feel and if it is a good thing. Relay good words for a better future. *smile

With that written above, I would like to dedicate this post to one of a person whom I adore and helps me unconsciously to challenge myself to be better a one.

Tho your memory of our first meeting is merely at our work place but I remember seeing you with different impression. It was my first time after a while at new place and me being an introvert little girl tried to fight my introvert problem to make friends. While I was looking around, tried to remember everyone I saw you at admin building with my to-be-senior. Our eyes met. You weren't smile and with that big eyes of yours, my smile retreated. Then, we met again with the same situation and I wondered if you had something to tell me. Our eyes did the talking, that's how I understand it.
So with that, I just wondered and let it passed as we didn't have formal introductions yet. The first time we talked to each other through a training programme and the appreciation activity made me puzzled. I am honestly hoping that I didn't heard you wrong when you said I am pretty. There was no exaggeration, no underestimating, just an honest opinion (I hope, cross finger). Being me, as a person who easily flutters with small compliments, I really can't handle those situations in the past. I'll be froze at place, feeling awkward, stuttered and smile weakly. However on that day, I tried to compose myself and digested those words slowly so that I can show normal response, smile briefly. Without weird gesture that will show I was nervous. I did well. From there, we started working together and I admired your knowledge on our work. Your understanding and foundation about the process is so solid, I wanted to be like you. Tackling work with understanding, gave structured opinions, working swiftly and at the end of the day, you still got to enjoy your day. I love to have those positive traits of yours. To be a passionate young girl. Since then, I wanted to be closer to you, learnt how you do things, and eventually we did spend more time together.

Fast forward, last night because I thought I was different, I was feeling different. The thought of seeing you with me feeling like that, was totally a nerve wrecking. I was nervous and as I stepped out of the corner  and saw you looking at me from across the hall, froze me. I can't think straight and I dissapoint myself by giving out the wrong response. Supposedly while you walked towards me confidently, I shouldn't turn my back to you. I should smile and say "Hi. You look charming tonight. You do. With that big eyes and bright smile, I am really happy to see you." I did. I can't take my eyes of you. You looked different too. With new haircut, and in full suit. You looked like you. Full with charm and elegance. I would like to save this memory for a long time. I regretted I didn't tell you how  trully fine you were that night. If I can I would like to spend the whole event, talking to you, about almost anything.

I wish you well for your two months over there. I am going to miss you like I always do. I pray you in a good health and safe.

A person whom I adore a lot.



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