Just downloaded songs from Hujan. I miss home I guess and Aku Yang Asing by Hujan keep replying in my mind. Somehow I got attached to it. I think because of too much loneliness right now. I keep myself indoor, never go out unless I get invitation, or out for work. I just eat, watching anything on internet, keep thinking about this year to be as fast as it can. But eventually if I wanna pass this year, there are two final exam to go through, eight months of saving, two challenging core subjects. Depression hit me. I've got sleepless night by having some worst nightmares I would say. Keep dreaming about everything of any possibilities for me to I don't know, fail in certain way. I feel right now is the limit of me for not going back home. I guess. Usually its only up to three to four months. Even MFI, I can go back home everyday. or seeing them everyday. The urge to pass this year getting stronger each day. What I wanna do for next ten months. It is tiring, mentally. I do asked for mentally support. I guess, I choose the wrong person. Again and again. "Ku tak mahu kau kan hilang di waktu siang. Harap kau sudi mendengar, Deruan pujaan jiwaku, melalui lagu ini, oh untukmu" I can't say I love you directly well because I 'm too shy. but you always know how much I love you, us. The six of us. I've already promised myself and I won't betray it. Whatever it is, the five of you always come first. Always.