Shouldnt feel this way. Pretending to be strong however deep inside, just a little kid that needs attention. I wanna play like i used to. Like when im with them. Everytime i miss them, i'll call them, o go back home and i'll play with them in every way i can. Just to feel the attention. Merengek, merajuk, jerit2. Thats me. Back then if i cant go back home, ill play with le roomates. The two of them. L n N. Only them im comfy enuf to play with. I love cuddling. Because i can feel the heat. The love that transfer to me. I'll feel insecure w everyone else. Im fragile. I really try hard to feel comfortable w others just to make me feel okay, but i just cant. Im sensitive. I need to say all of this thing because ive no one else. If u say these things are all mind set, then dont approach me. Cause u dont learn to know me. I cant even think about them. I'll remember everythg i used to say, used to do w them. I appreciate sentimental values. Very much. If i love someone, i'll remember everything about them even to the smallest details. This also goes to anyone that annoy me too much, i'll learn about them and alert myself to beat them in any way i can. Thats how i live. With love, pain, mementos, moment to remember. Ive never make a memory without significant items, either place, things, words, date,figures anything that i can imagine. If there is any moment that excluded these, ill not remember them at all. Cause it aint important to me. I just want somebody to tell about my day. Or anytime i want. The one that always there for me. I just wanna tell someone. Tell that person, how happy i am, how sad i am, how terrible the day is..without feel guilty. Like when i told ibu about almost everything. I used to have one friend that share with me everything but then i stop to tell that person. Thats another long story. Before this i just can call, but now i need an internet. And because of there is still no internet, im stress. Too depresed. Maybe u feel, i say these like i doesnt have Allah but He know how much i talked to Him. I didnt need to voice out, He knew everything. It just, i'll feel better if i can share my day with other person.
P/S: im selfish when it comes to love and friendship.
P/S/S: i know what am i talking about
P/S/S/S: i love you. All.